A few weeks ago I read a post on The New York Times Parenting Blog about ways parents can teach their children about giving. One of the ways was to incorporate stories about how your family benefited from the help of others when talking about your family history. It got me thinking about my family and the ways in which we received help through difficult times in our lives. Having been raised by a single mother with limited means, my mother, sister and I were fortunate to have a large extended family there to support us. Aunts and uncles would step in to watch after us or help make sure we had access to groceries. Although my sister and I were very little when we needed this help and may not remember receiving it, it was a great support to our mother who was struggling. Even as my sister and I got older, the same aunts and uncles were still there cheering us on at graduations, and coaching our sports teams. There was never a lack of love and encouragement, for which I am eternally grateful.
Now as an adult, I can see how the generosity my family was shown throughout my childhood has taught me about gratitude, empathy and the importance of paying generosity forward. In this fast-paced and tumultuous world we live in, I can sometimes lose sight of how fortunate I am. There have been times in my life when I was not able to give as much as I was during other times. The challenge I give myself during these times is to remind myself how very fortunate I am and that I always have something to give that someone else needs.
I don’t have children, but I love the idea that sharing your family story of generosity, both given and received, is a great place to start teaching kids about the importance of giving. Finding ways to engage your child in the act of giving is a personal choice. Every family is so different and able to give in very different ways and this can change over time. Here are a few creative ways I have witnessed parents I know share the gift of giving with their kids.
My sister Amy has been sponsoring a child through World Vision for over 10 years. Paulos, who lives in Malawi, is now 19 years old. This year Amy, her husband Chris and their three year old daughter Savannah began sponsoring another child from Tanzania. Her name is Scolastica and is the same age as Savannah. Their monthly monetary donation helps to provide Scolastica with things like clean water, better nutrition, protection from disease and education. In addition, they get to be involved in Scolastica’s life by trading emails, cards and photos. This is a wonderful way to expose a child to how families in other countries live and the diverse challenges they face.
Another way in which I have seen parents encourage giving is through participation in activities like a read-a-thon or walk-a-thon to raise money for their school or a charitable organization. This type of giving can teach self-motivation, self-sacrifice and the impact a collective effort can make.
One mom I know asks her daughter to help go through her closet when she has outgrown a clothing size or set of toys. As they go through the closet they talk about how they will share the items she has grown out of with another child that needs them. This example of giving can teach a child to let go of the concept of “mine” and that sharing is an act of generosity and giving.
During the holidays, my sister and I have participated in the Glide Annual Toy Sort in San Francisco. Glide receives toy donations from corporate and private donors and volunteers help to sort the toys into bags by age. Each bag will contain a few items like a book, a toy, a puzzle or a game and a toothbrush. I have seen parents bring their teenagers to help sort the toys (there is a minimum age of 18 years old). This is a great way for young-adults to learn that giving of one’s time can be valuable and also to highlight the things we often take for granted.
These simple ways of engaging a child in thinking about others and empowering them with the willingness to act when they have something to give is one of the most powerful tools you can teach a child.
-Namaste
(Photo courtesy of Wix)